- A pretty lady in reception
- The population of Manhattan in your compliance department
- A couple of pathological liars to run HR
- As many Tim Nice But Dims in senior management as possible (see above video)
- A CEO who needs his assistant to send his emails (not because he is too busy, but because he doesn’t know how to use a mouse)
- Assistant to the CEO
- A handful of relationship managers
As for the marketing department, say bye bye and get rid of each and everyone of the blighters. They know absolutely nothing. The world has changed so much in the past few years that they’ve completely fallen off the wagon. If and when they do start to get involved it will end in tears. Don’t believe me? Just #AskJPM.
The other lot you need to fire tomorrow are the people whose job it is to write something that is then put in old fashioned paper format, PDF or published on the web with the idea of getting clients and prospects to do business with you. Fire them all! Now! Use the pathological liars working in HR to do it. They’re good at that sort of thing.
The fact remains that due to utter lack of imagination and intellectual castration, hiding under the overused excuse of “legislation” and "compliance issues" the material that banks and financial services produce really is the Charge of the Bland Brigade.
"The material that banks and financial services produce really is the Charge of the Bland Brigade."
I challenge you to go to any bank's or financial services company’s website and find me something that doesn’t cure my insomnia within 33 seconds. Seriously. Do it now, if you do find something interesting send me a link.
Paying people hundreds of thousands a year to produce material that you send to your clients, who then literally burn your product is an exercise in plain stupidity.